Tomorrow marks exactly one month since we laid my wife to rest in the ground next to our son. I say this, to give some context to my state of mind and my words. As those who know me well, know, i am at heart a positive person. As I struggle with the sudden and unexpected loss of Michele, many negative feelings come quickly and easily: sadness, self pity, anger at the causes of her death. How do I take something positive from this situation?

Then my online friend Thabo sends me a Facebook message. He is concerned because I haven’t been active in SoMe lately, which is somewhat unlike me. I don’t respond for a few days, so when I finally do, he lets me know that he was getting worried.

The reason that I didn’t respond right away, was that I was spending time with my son and grandson at the trailer that my wife and I put on a lot near where they live. We put it there so that we could spend time with our grandson, since he lives a couple of hours drive from where we lived. While there, I was busy playing with my grandson Ben, who will be 4 on his next birthday.

You see, in about a week Ben will be exactly the same age as his Uncle Dylan that Michele and I laid to rest almost 14 years ago. Michele was only 45 when she suddenly passed away. Her 92 year old grandfather attended both funerals. Since our son passed away, I embraced “Carpe Diem”, because I might not be around. But what Michele’s untimely passing reminded me of, is that despite being both male and older, against the statistical odds, both her grandfather and I were still here and Michele and Dylan were gone from our lives.

Seizing the day also means not losing a chance to say I love you to those that I care about and spending time with them. While tomorrow ( or Mañana as my Spanish speaking friends might say), might not come for me, there is always the possibility that it might come for me but not for them. Michele’s untimely passing reminded me of this. Tomorrow always comes for work or SoMe, but it might not come for those that we care about. So this past weekend, I chose to say Mañana to work and to SoMe; and to seize the day with my son and grandson.

So my friend Thabo, carry out your threat and spend time with your lovely wife and precious children, and say Mañana to your laptop. It will be there tomorrow, but they might not be. I know that’s the positive thing that I’ve extracted from my unfortunate situation, and I hope you do too.